No
one wants to be alone. As human beings we desire relationships with others.
God created us as social beings. Genesis1:18 states: "And the Lord God said,
‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper
comparable to him.' " Then God instituted marriage (Genesis 1:24). Here we
see that God desires for men and women to develop relationships leading to
marriage. But how do we decide whom we will marry? Do we date only people we
wish to marry? In this Bible study we will learn ways God wants us to
develop Christian relationships through dating.
What Dating Is And
Isn't
PROVERBS 4: 7 "Wisdom is the principal thing; Therefore get wisdom. And in
all your getting, get understanding."
COMMENT: Because we will likely live with a mate in marriage and within a
community around us, God wants us to learn how to live in harmony with
others. God has given us laws and wise policies to insure peace and
enjoyable, uplifting relationships. In our culture, dating is a means to
learn how to relate socially with that half of the population that is of the
opposite gender. Dating is also a means of getting to know someone better.
Courtship is that final phase before marriage when a man and a woman are
BOTH deciding whether they truly want to marry and are truly suitable for
one another. ALL dating is NOT courtship. Dating MAY lead to courtship, and
courtship will include dating, but dating need not have romantic overtones.
It can be just companionship in a mutually pleasing activity.
Do you think some teens sometimes confuse dating with courtship? Do you
think our culture confuses the two? What clues reveal there may be
confusion?
It's been said that common dating practices today prepare one for divorce.
Why doesn't modern dating promote healthy relationships?
What can one learn about another person on a date?
What are some wrong reasons to date?
PROVERBS 3:1-2: "My son, do not forget my law, But let your heart keep my
commands; For length of days and long life And peace they will add to you."
PROVERBS 4:1-2: "Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, And give
attention to know understanding; For I give you good doctrine: Do not
forsake my law."
What are some rules your parents have regarding dating?
Why do you think they give you those rules?
COMMENT: Parents are the people who know you best and always have your best
interests at heart. Keep this in mind when they discuss dating rules (such
as curfew), and when they give answers or counsel to questions pertaining
strictly to you alone such as, when you can start dating, how often to date,
and when you are mature enough to begin dating one-on-one.
Who to Date
PROVERBS 11:14 "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the
multitude of counselors there is safety."
To whom do you go for counsel?
Give reasons why counselors urge teens to group date.
COMMENT: In early adolescence, group dating can help girls and guys get used
to doing things together on a social level. This usually allows everyone to
feel more relaxed around one another before guys and girls start dating
one-on-one.
Why do you think counselors recommend dating many different people? What
are the advantages to dating many people before dating one person?
I CORINTHIANS 15:33: "Do not be deceived: 'Evil company corrupts good
habits.'"
Do you think it wise to date just anyone? Why?
Would it be wise to date someone not of the same faith? Why? Does it
matter if not everyone included on a group date is of the same faith?
What are some things you should know about a person before dating him or
her? What standards and values do you look for?
What do the following proverbs teach us about whom to date and not to
date?
Proverbs 13:20
Proverbs 22:24-25
Proverbs 24:1
Proverbs 28:7
COMMENT: Proverbs 4:23 tells us to be extremely careful about our
affections. We humans are often prone to give our heart away too easily.
That being so, it is wise not to date someone whose character or faith will
lead you away from God and His way of life. Ancient Israel was warned not to
intermarry with the nations around them lest their heart be turned from Him
(Deuteronomy 7:3-4). Do you remember what happened to King Solomon?
8. How can one decline a date request graciously?
Dating Activities
ECCLESIASTES 11:9: "Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, And let your heart
cheer you in the days of your youth; Walk in the ways of your heart, And in
the sight of your eyes; But know that for all these God will bring you into
judgment."
God wants you to enjoy life. Dating ought to be an enjoyable experience.
What are some activities that you would like to do on a date?
COMMENT: There is an endless list of good ideas for a date. Doing them with
parents of one or more on the date will lessen the pressure and temptations
that would occur if dating alone. Those who enjoy sports will want to
participate in or watch sports; those who like to visit places could choose
to see historical sites, attend fairs, go on picnics, etc.; those who like
to just chat, may find going to a fast-food restaurant or coffeehouse where
conversation is lively to be immense fun; those who enjoy learning about the
world may want to attend cultural events, participate in a book discussion,
explore a museum; those who like to be involved may choose to collectively
take part in church or school projects or an environmental work party. These
are all opportunities to be with others and learn about each other. There
are also bad ideas for a date.
What is the one warning that the above verse gives about choice of
activity?
COMMENT: Also read I Thessalonians 4:3-8. God says that dating should be
conducted in an honorable way reflecting holiness. Those who reject this
concept are rejecting God.
What are some bad ideas to do on a date? (For one, consider I Corinthians
6:18.)
How to Behave on a Date
GALATIANS 5:14: "For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this:
'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"
What kind of "love" is being referred to here?
NOTE: This is not referring to sexual love. Remember God's commandments
regarding adultery and covetousness.
PHILIPPIANS 2:3-4: "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or
conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than
himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also
for the interests of others."
Everyone likes to feel that they fit in and that others like their
company. What are some ways to make group dates fun and help everyone have a
good time?
How can we show esteem, or honor, to our dates? What are some common
mistakes in this area?
Can you think of ways we can act responsibly on dates? (ONE HINT: Think
Alexander Bell)
COMMENT: Respect for one another should rule over all else. As an added
bonus to group dating, if we act responsibly on group dates our parents will
probably feel more comfortable in allowing us to date in the future.
Courtesy : www.ucg.org