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(Heb 13:4 KJV) Marriage
is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but
whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
The word 'love' in English has so many different definitions
supposedly including
- Romance
- Eros
- Storge
- Philia
- Self-love
- Desire
- Agape
- Narcissism
- Sex
- Gay
The word 'love' in English has so many various
definitions as we all tend to know, for instance: I
love my dog, my wife, cherry pie, my children, my
sister, myself etc.
But in the Greek there are
three basic, main words for love. Eros, Philia, Agape
Eros
One Greek word for love is 'Eros',
from which we get the word erotic. It has
self-centered interests with its main focus being on
physically receiving. 'Eros',
means physical, sensual, romantic affections and
can be described as desires or erotic love. Many
people wrongfully confuse this as being a love from
God.. and they sadly do not tend to know any other
levels of love.. such as Philia or
next even Agape..
Eros is the false type of love
that is most emphasized in our society today- a
sensual mostly love that is based on receiving- a
passionate love depicted on TV and novels, or
manifested by Gays. One person once commented: 'My
friends do not fall in love; they mostly fall into
lust.'
A lot, lot of persons also today do LIVE BY THEIR
FEELINGS, not by the word of God, they are mostly
led by and live by their own demonic lusts, the
Eros love.. that is what a lot of
these feelings still are.. even the feelings of
high, excitements, desires.. they are not living in
God's love or on His will for them.. This is not
just the gays now, the adulterers, pornographers,
but even most of ordinary supposedly good persons
too who do this now, next too. (John 8:44 KJV) Ye are of your father the devil,
and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a
murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the
truth, because there is no truth in him. When he
speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a
liar, and the father of it.
(2 Pet 2:10 KJV) But chiefly them that walk after
the flesh in the lust of uncleanness,
(1 John 2:16 KJV) For all that is in the world, the
lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the
pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the
world.
(1 John 2:17 KJV) And the world passeth away, and
the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God
abideth for ever.
We need to walk by faith, walking in faith means always
applying God's word personally.. then we will walk in the love
and in the Spirit of God.. not in the lust of the flesh.
(Gal 5:16 KJV) This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye
shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
In the New Testament Greek there
are only two main words for love. Philia
Agape
Phileo
Another Greek word for love is 'phileo'; it
represents mutual tender affection- the sharing, warm
fuzzies. It's love now focus on both giving and receiving.
The
word 'Philia means affection (as in
Philadelphia which means brotherly affection or brotherly love
(delphos = brother)).
Phileo is an emotional, brotherly love, a
love which would best be illustrated in the Bible as that
between David and Jonathan.
The relationship between Lazarus and Jesus depicts this type
of love as well:
Jn.11:3 So the sisters sent word to Jesus, "Lord, the one
you love is sick."
Again when Jesus sees Mary crying, we read:
Jn.11:35-36 Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, "See how he
loved him!"
Then there was also the close disciple whom Jesus loved:
Jn.20:2 So she came running to Simon Peter and the other
disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken
the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know where they have put
him
It is on the basis of Phileo that we are
commanded to a brotherly kiss out of fraternal affection
Rom 16:16 Greet one another with a holy kiss. All
the churches of Christ send greetings However when Judas greets
Jesus to betray him, the Greek word is not the word for kiss,
but the word phileo- the word for love:
Mk.14:44 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: "The
one I kiss (phileo) is the man; arrest him and lead him away
under guard."
It is important that the command to love is never
phileo, because it is an emotional love that comes out
of a mutual reciprocal relationship but rather Agape
However, it must be pointed out that for a Christian to
phileo love someone definitely also always includes the agape
love as well.
God the Father Agape loved his Son:
Jn.3:35 The Father loves the Son and has placed
everything in his hands. But God also phileo loved Jesus because
of their relationship:
Jn.5:20 For the Father loves the Son and shows him
all he does. Yes, to your amazement he will show him even
greater things than these.
God agape loves his church
Jn.14:21 He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and
I too will love him and show myself to him."
But God also loves us because of the relationship we have
with his Son:
Jn.16:27 No, the Father himself loves you because you
have loved me and have believed that I came from God. The
relational phileo love for Christ is in the context of
relationship, else the Bible says we will be cursed.
1Co.16:22 If anyone does not love the Lord- a curse
be on him. Come, O Lord!
However if we are in a relationship with the God, he will
rebuke and discipline us as the need arises:
Re.3:19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So
be earnest, and repent.
Therefore phileo love comes from a relationship which shares
common interests- both giving and receiving.
Agape
Finally there is the Greek word for love: 'agape'
which represents an attitude of love that is non selfish. It has
a self-less interest with its focus on primary giving to
others. Agape can be described as
unconditional positive regard, a personal state of mind that
spurs us into helpful, needful action in personal simplicity,
humility, compassion and equanimity. Agape
is the higher form, manifestation of God's true love for all of
us which we all still do need to personally have, promote,
cultivate by letting God have full control of our lives.
The Greek word agape is mostly foreign to classical Greek
because it's origin is from God:
1Jn.4:7 …for love comes from God.
The first disciples of Jesus Christ were incapable of agape
love until after Pentecost, for agape love comes from the Holy
Spirit alone:
Ro.5:5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has
poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom
he has given us.
The fact that the disciples were void of agape love prior to
Pentecost becomes clear in John 21 where Jesus uses the word
agape:
Jn.21:15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon
Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than
these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus
said, "Feed my lambs."
Peter's response was 'I phileo love you.' Did Peter not
understand the question? Jesus repeats himself:
Jn.21:16 Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly
love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
Again Jesus uses the word 'agape', yet Peter again responds
with phileo, love based on a relationship. Jesus in his third
attempt asks, 'Peter do you phileo love me?'
Jn.21:17 The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John,
do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the
third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all
things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.
Peter could not experience agape love in and of himself, its
origin is of God:
1Jo 4:8 …for God is love.
Agape is an outward manifestation of an inward change
1Co 16:14 Do everything in love.
Agape love is a love that is based on the one doing the
loving and not on the one receiving the love being lovely or
worthy of that love:
Ro 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us,
in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
The love of God could not be understood by man until Christ
died on the cross:
1Jn.3:16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus
Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our
lives for our brothers.
Agape love is the highest love as it is selfless, this
differentiates it from all human forms of love:
Jn.15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that he
lay down his life for his friends.
Agape love is not based on feelings, therefore it can be
commanded:
Jn.15:12 "This is My commandment, that you love one
another as I have loved you.
Agape love is not based on relationship, we are now called to
love more then our neighbor, our enemy:
Lk.6:27-28 But I tell you who hear me: Love your
enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who
curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
There is much confusion these days on what love is. Phileo
always tries to please the one that is being loved. Agape
always does what is best on behalf of the person even though it
might not be perceived as love at that time:
Ro.8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the
good of those who love him, who have been called according
to his purpose.
Is everything good that God allows in our life, 'no'; but
because of his love for us, it will be for our good.
He.12 :5-6 "My son, do not make light of the Lord's
discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because
the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes
everyone he accepts as a son."
In the same way, if we agape love someone, we might have to
tell them how God perceives their actions. Some people say the
things others want to hear, instead we need to say those things
they need to hear:
Eph 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we
will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is,
Christ
Therefore let us enjoy the phileo love we have for each other
as we do life together, but let us also love with the same love
that God has always willing to reach out to those who do not
know the love of God. There are many kinds of love, but the
greatest of these is agape love.
(James 1:17 KJV) Every good gift and every perfect gift is
from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom
is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
and when
we love one another with agape love, we do love God also.
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