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Selfish Transformation
The real transforming work of marriage is the
twenty-four-hours-a-day, seven-days-a-week
commitment. This is the crucible that grinds and
shapes us into the character of Jesus Christ.
Marriage calls us to an entirely new and
selfless life. Any situation that calls me to
confront my selfishness has enormous spiritual
value.
-Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage
(Zondervan)
Through Heaven's Eyes
You may ask how you can see your spouse as God
does. This perspective comes only from prayer.
Concern for my wife's spiritual journey leads me
to pray regularly for her, asking that I will be
able to discern the Spirit's presence and
activity in her life and thereby support, never
obstruct, the Spirit. The more I pray for her,
the more I see her as God sees her-through eyes
of love and concern for her spiritual growth.
-David G. Benner, Sacred Companions
(InterVarsity Press)
Pleasing To God?
If I believe the primary purpose of marriage is
to model God's love, I will enter this
relationship and maintain it with an entirely
new motivation, one hinted at by Paul: "So we
make it our goal to please him" (2
Corinthians 5:9).
For the Christian, the first question we should
ask ourselves when doing anything is, "Will this
be pleasing to Jesus Christ?"
The first purpose in marriage-beyond happiness,
sexual expression, the bearing of children,
companionship, mutual care and provision, or
anything else-is to please God.
The challenge, of course, is that it is utterly
selfless living; rather than asking, "What will
make me happy?" we are told that we must ask,
"What will make God happy?"
-Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage
(Zondervan)
Time After Time
Becoming married takes time. It doesn't happen
on the wedding day. The wedding is only the
beginning of a relationship that can be expected
to endure and grow. What happens is that over
time God's grace becomes visible in the marriage
relationship. It becomes visible and real to the
married couple, of course, but in a wonderful
way it also becomes visible to the people who
are touched by the relationship, to family and
friends, to neighbors and fellow church members.
-Douglas J. Brouwer, Beyond "I Do"
(Eerdmans)
In the Image of God
When was the last time you looked at your mate
watching TV, maybe with a beer in his hand, and
thought, He is made in the image and likeness
of God?
When was the last time you sat across the dinner
table and didn't stare down into your plate, but
into the eyes of someone reflecting the image
and likeness of God?
When was the last time you pressed warmly
against your mate, knowing she is made in the
image and likeness of God-and not just a body
there for your amusement?
What a difference a divine image can make in a
marriage. When you begin to relate as males and
females according to your super-natural image,
you move past the popular illusions and begin to
pay attention to what is essential, spiritual,
eternal, and even holy about your mate. Hanging
bellies, thinning hair, or sagging breasts no
longer become your standard for your mate. Your
perspective changes from carnal to spiritual:
you cease to see your mate as just an object
whose sole purpose is to attract you or satisfy
you.
When you begin to see your mate as the image and
likeness of God, your marriage, no matter how
exiled, will instantly realign to God's order.
After all, how can you disregard the image and
likeness of God? Can you really justify
impoliteness or cruelty to the image and
likeness of God? Is it possible not to find
something beautiful or handsome in the image and
likeness of God-regardless of what someone
actually looks like? How could anyone, in good
conscience, cheat on the image and likeness of
God?
In fact, devotion, respect, kindness, caring,
consideration, adoration, honesty, nurturing,
chivalry, trustworthiness, truthfulness-a list
as infinite as the Infinite One-are the only
ways to treat the image and likeness of God.
When you correctly view your mate-not according
to the warped, twisted, politically correct,
fly-by-night, and faddish standards of a fallen
world-but as God created that person to be, you
set your marriage on the high road.
-Michael Shevack, Adam & Eve: Marriage
Secrets from the Garden of Eden
(Paulist Press)
Dating:
2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do
righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship
can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between
Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an
unbeliever?
Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of
life.
Proverbs19:22a
What a man desires is unfailing love;
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
1 Timothy 5:1,2
Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were
your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as
mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
2 Timothy 2:22
Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith,
love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a
pure heart.
Revelations 14:13
Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write: Blessed are the
dead who die in the Lord from now on." "Yes," says the Spirit,
"they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow
them."
Song of Solomon 2:7
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the
does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not
boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should
avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to
control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in
passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God..
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