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Maintaining a healthy marriage
relationship need not be out of reach. A few simple
words can make the difference.
by Rev. Ralph Garbe
Here
are several phrases which, if used regularly and meant
sincerely, will guarantee for you a happy marriage.
The first phrase
is: "I love you."
It is a phrase used
freely during courtship, but not so freely during
marriage. We never outgrow the need to say it or hear
it. We need to say it to show our caring and we need to
hear it to feel the joy and peace of our closeness. To
say, "I love you" may at times require discipline. To
say it when we may not feel like it, will affirm that
our relationship is deeper than the moment and stronger
than any disagreement. To say, "I love you" will
acknowledge that we share a bond which celebrates the
joys of life and endures the agony of grief, only
deepening with every experience, and strengthening over
time. "I love you" is something we say to each other
regardless of how long we have known each other, or the
number of years we have been married to each other. It
shows that we are determined that our love will never
grow old or stale.
The second phrase
is, "I thank you."
We may receive many
valuable gifts on our wedding day. However, the most
valuable gift we will have received or will ever receive
during our lifetime together is the gift of each other.
It is sad that our thankfulness for material gifts
received can grow faint as through use we take them for
granted, or as they wear with age. One day they may even
lose their usefulness and be unceremoniously dumped in
Wednesdays' garbage or Thursday's recycling program.
Likewise we can start to take each other for granted and
lose our appreciation for the valued gift our loved one
is for us. Indifference must never overtake our
relationship. Therefore, to say thanks to each other for
little favours done, or niceties noticed, will renew our
appreciation and keep us from taking each other for
granted. A timely "thank you" will lift our spirits and
inspire our devotion.
The third phrase
is "I am sorry."
When the Bible says,
"Let not the sun go down on your anger" (Ephesians
4:26), it gives us sound advice. The first glow of
love allows the words "I am sorry" to come easily to our
lips. We dare not let anything get in the way of the
special bond we feel. But as our relationship matures
from those first heady dates of infatuation and is
tested by the long-term ups and downs of any
relationship, hurts may be allowed to pile up over time
and cause an emotional chasm difficult to bridge. "I am
sorry" readily said and deeply felt will move to mend
what is broken. And just as quick, a word of
forgiveness: "That's O.K; I understand,
I forgive you, " Will heal the rift and restore what is torn.
"I love you; I
thank you; I am sorry-I forgive you;" these phrases
used often and meant sincerely will guarantee for you a
happy marriage.
By the way, these
phrases are not meant to be confined to marriage. Use
them freely around the house and witness the magic these
words spin.
And let me add a
little afterthought:
"Please."
Yes, that's all.
"Please." It can add caring to any request (Ephesians
4:26).
Rev. Ralph Garbe
, Fellowship Magazine.
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